November 2011...
Working with the women in my private practice and in other areas of my professional life has continued to bring me in contact with women who experience abuse verbally, emotionally, financially and physically. No matter what form the abuse takes women suffer for long periods of time often for months, and years, trying to make thei relationships work. If you think you are in an abusive relationship check out the book, The Verbally Abusive Man Can He Change? A Women¹s Guide to Stay or Go, written by Patricia Evans. Another great find at the Toronto Public Library. I highly recommend this book as it covers the most important issues that concern women when deciding on how to respond and take steps towards change when dealing with a man, or same sex partner who may be verbally abusive.
I especially appreciated the following chapters;
Chapter 3: Types and Origins of Verbal Abuse
Chapter 4: Does counselling help?
Specifically, guidelines for counselling on page 67, and her entire concept of the abuser defining the women¹s inner world was extremely interesting.
Chapter 5: Is Change Possible?
Chapter 7: What motivates him to change?
Chapter 8: How to prepare for the agreement.
I will make a recommendation if you think you may be in an abusive relationship. If you take this book out read it cover to cover prior to talking to your partner about it. It is important to understand the risks of approaching a partner who may be abusive and to develop a safety plan before deciding what actions you want to take.
Deborah Connerty
Audio Book Review...
A Mindful Approach to Free Yourself from Anxiety, a Mind Body Prescription
By Erin Olivo, PhD, MPH
Another interesting find is an audiobook I found by Erin Olivo, PhD, MPH called "A Mindful Approach to Free Yourself from Anxiety, a Mind Body Prescription". This two disc set gives a great overview of how to free yourself from the suffering experienced from anxiety. She discusses an important aspect about anxiety, and that is that it is communicating important messages to the person suffering. A mindful approach to coping with symptoms of anxiety can help to change the way your mind responds. Olivo goes on to explain that mindfulness allows a person to be present in
the moment. She explains that most of us don¹t live in the present. She explains that it takes practice to live in the present moment and to focus on what is happening in the here and now. After this helpful and informative introduction Olivio covers some helpful meditative techniques. She discussed the concept of moving out of a reactive mode into responding mode by cultivating what she called the wise mind. To be mindful means to be engaged and curious. Ultimately she discusses how the goal of practice of mindfulness techniques is to alleviate the suffering of anxiety not to eliminate anxiety all together. If you suffer from anxiety and are looking for some methods to help you cope check out her audiobook and see how it works for you.